A Princess and A Guy Like Me
by NotMarge
Summary: It's been a long time gone between them, Han and Leia. And he doesn't know if he can recover what they've lost. But he hopes he can. Light spoilers for 'Force Awakens'. Heavy on original trilogy.


I do not own Star Wars anything.

And the only SW toy I got as a kid was the rancor. Go figure.

A Princess and A Guy Like Me

* * *

We argued all over the galaxy, me and Leia.

At first it was because I couldn't stand her. Such a rude, unappreciative, bossy, headstrong, little princess.

Just expecting everyone to fall in line with whatever she thought we should do.

This noble cause of hers.

Crazy woman. No one ever won against the Empire.

What you did was stay out of their way. Or run.

And besides, _I_ didn't work like that.

We answered only to ourselves, Chewie and me.

Well, and the occasional bounty hunter.

But she and all the rest of them roped me into it.

Made me think about believing.

And wanting to care.

About them.

About her.

Still drove me crazy though.

I'd never had much use for women before.

I mean, yeah, they were good for a _few_ things.

But mostly they just got in the way.

And the ones who could hold their own against me, well, they were just too complicated and challenging to fool with anyway.

Except for her.

So I tried to be charming, hell, I could _be_ charming.

She didn't want to admit it at first, that she liked me too.

Even kissed Luke to prove me wrong.

That turned out to be really strange later.

But she eventually gave in, decided she wanted to love me.

And I loved it, loved _her_.

Her beauty, her bravery, her fire.

The way she backed me up, believed in me, and challenged me all at the same time.

Never gave an inch, not one.

And her love, her fire, her passion burned on me, warmed me up.

Made me proud to be with her, happy to be part of the fight.

Happy to be a part of her.

Yeah, we had several good years, Leia and me.

Together. Apart. Together again.

It seemed that no matter what happened, we were always going to be there for each other.

Until we couldn't. Until we weren't.

Until Ben turned.

And Luke disappeared.

And everything went dark.

I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have run away.

It was me that left, not her.

It didn't happen all at once, no, I'm not _that_ heartless.

It happened slowly, just a little at a time.

A secret mission here, undercover convoy there.

Until it just became easier to stay away.

I remember the last time I left.

She stood there and watched me that time too.

And I could see that we both knew I wasn't coming back.

And her eyes, those dark, glittering eyes were full of fire and stubbornly unshed tears.

Those eyes I had concentrated so completely on when they were lowering me into the carbonite when Vader captured me.

Those soft, supple lips I had kissed time and time again.

And those eyes. Those dark, captivating eyes that could warm me, strengthen me, or sear me, depending on her mood alone.

Everything about Leia.

And knowing I was doing her wrong. Knowing she _deserved_ better.

Before I turned away. Like a coward.

And we lost so many important years together.

And now here we were again.

Facing each other across a distance I didn't know if I could close.

Older. Wiser.

Well, her.

I might've been older but I don't know about wiser. I could hope I was.

And now it was Leia and me, all over again.

We didn't look the same. We didn't sound the same.

We weren't the same.

All the years, the battles, the losses had mellowed us, aged us, stolen from us.

All I wanted to do was tell her how sorry I was for leaving, for not being able to fix our son, for failing my family.

But too much had passed between us for words.

Too much time and too much hurt.

So we didn't say much.

I just wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me.

And just for a second, tried to let it be just me and her again.

The princess who was so much more than a princess. And the scoundrel who didn't need to be a scoundrel anymore.

Just for a second.

Before we had to let go again.

* * *

 **This was written by request of my wonderful friend, DinahRay. Happy birthday, sweetie! And many, many happy returns. I hope you like this.**

 **As for the rest of you, well, you know the drill, yeah?**

 **Everybody appreciates feedback. Leave a review if you like.**


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